I bought a dress.
It’s the dress I plan on wearing to the courthouse or wherever we end up getting married.
More on that another day (Vegas, anyone?) but first, ordering the dress.
It may seem like a benign moment to some. It was, however, a small milestone on a recent journey of struggle.
Learning to breathe again
That’s the day My American and I made the very difficult, very necessary decision to euthanize Shep.
Losing him was nothing short of devastating. He was my constant companion, my best friend, my co-pilot, my soulmate.
Every day in this new chapter of my life has held trips down memory lane, punctuated by sorrow and smiles.
Life, however, must go on.
A friend subtly reminded me of that recently when she asked if we’d gotten any further in planning our wedding.
The question shook me. I realized I was stalling my life when I have so much to do to prepare for the next steps in my visa application, packing up the house and moving, and planning a wedding, no matter how simple it may be.
And wait … Christmas and New Year’s probably land there somewhere.
The world, for some reason, kept spinning without me as a willing participant.
My challenge now is to keep my mind from spinning out of control.
What is normal?
Sometimes, it feels like the only normal is chaos.
The last few years have featured several moves and several jobs that ended for one reason or another.
While I suspected 2014 was going to be a big year, I had no idea the changes it would bring.
And how I would experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows:
- I didn’t feel I was accomplishing much or getting much appreciation at the job I moved to Kelowna for and started job hunting
- I got caught job hunting
- The boss and I came to a mutual agreement and decided to end our relationship with a layoff
- My American and I decided to start my immigration process
- We got engaged
- Shep died
- Bella is now in our lives
More changes are coming. The ones we are planning are all good.
Life has ways of throwing unexpected changes at you, and not all of them are good.
You have to juke and jive your way through the holes in the defence to score a goal, taking a few hits along the way.
You have to learn how to roll with the punches.
And you have to take little, sure steps to remember where your place is supposed to be in this world.
So I bought a dress.