I’ve been a bad writer. I know.
I’ve been mentally flogging myself these last few weeks, knowing I hadn’t put fingertips to keyboard on these pages in a good long while.
In the internet world, a few days gone by is enough to make people forget about you.
On the other hand, though, it’s also a lot of time for me to build up a list of things to write about. Trouble is, I leave them all up in my head … swimming around, getting confused with each other and sometimes being forgotten,
And so it was that last week, I sat down and wrote those ideas down. On paper. It’s weird but it feels more permanent that way to me.
I pledged to be a better writer. To tackle each one of those ideas. To keep you entertained, engaged and maybe — if I’m lucky — a little bit enlightened.
The next day, right before I sat down to tell you the thoughts that preceded this sentence, I was called into my new boss’s office.
Back taxes, Revenue Canada, cutbacks … sigh, oh this again.
Thus, I find myself out of work again, having to freshen up my cover letter, resume and portfolio for the second time in less than a year. Having to market myself, prove my value to another company, praying for a bidder to take a chance on me.
It looks tougher out there now, tougher than it was three months ago when I was still doing this after my layoff from Shaw. The job postings on my RSS feed aren’t coming through as frequently as they did in January.
It’s scary, especially when there’s no severance pay to float me through this time. Just a little nest egg built up from my freelancing business. A little cash that was meant to pay for plane tickets to Nova Scotia this summer, when I would finally bring a boyfriend home to introduce to my family.
At times, I feel broken and defeated, in a state of disbelief that I have to go through this all over again.
Come hell or high water, this obstacle, too, shall be overcome.
The search begins anew, I prefer contract stay-t-home work but I will entertain any offer. Post links in the comments, connect me to your network, send me emails … of postings and encouragement.
In the meantime, I have time to write.
Just don’t forget me when I’m gone. Even if it’s only for a day or two.